Good Enough For Me
by Lor Wells
Summary: Seto/Jou. Chapter 4 added. Seto and Jou have finally gotten together, but Jou is having doubts as to whether Seto's intentions are from the heart. Slightly AU
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Jou, Seto, or any other characters in Yu-gi-oh. So please don't sue me.  
  
Warnings: This fic yaoi-filled. Not only that, it has lots of swearing. There's a bit of angst, and there will probably be lots of sap in the future. So if any of that offends you, don't read it. You have been warned, so no flames! .  
  
One more note: I have to admit, I've only seen Yu-gi-oh maybe 6 times, and have never read the manga. Thus, the plot is pretty flexible. There is no mention of Duel Monsters in here, and there only might be vague references to it later on. So if you want to call it au, that's fine. If you'd like to think that it happens somewhere on the TV show timeline and that dueling is simply forgotten for a while, that is fine too. I wrote this because I wanted to explore the relationship between Jou and Seto, not necessarily to stay true to the storyline. Also, forgive me if Seto and Jou seem a bit OOC.  
  
By the way, this is written in Jou's point of view.  
*****  
Me and my big mouth. I always get myself into these kinds of situations.  
  
And exactly what situation is that, you ask?  
  
Let me fill you in.  
  
I am currently standing about 15 feet away from him, attempting to look as angry (if not angrier) than he is, trying to remember what the hell I said to make him so mad. The "him" being none other than Seto Kaiba, of course. Funny thing is, I'm usually the one that's pissed off. I'm usually the one that has to be held back by Yuugi or Honda, who prevent me from beating the shit out of the damn bastard. Now Kaiba's in that position, and I'm the one firing all the insults. Surprising, ne?  
  
Before I continue, let me make something clear. Most people think that I seriously am angry when Kaiba insults me the way he does. I'm not. I'm never as mad as I seem to be. I mean, sure, at first I wanted to kill the son of a bitch. Who wouldn't, after being called a mutt by some rich pig that's supposedly your nemesis?  
  
Then I realized something. I realized that his words shouldn't affect me half as much as they did. I hardly know the guy, right? So why should I care?  
  
But I did care. And I couldn't figure out why.  
  
The attention I got from him, albeit negative, gave me this strange sense of satisfaction. I know, it's weird, and I can't explain it either.  
  
So from then on I always reacted the same towards him-seemingly angry and always hostile. I guess it eventually became a routine; Kaiba calls Jou a dog, Jou lashes out, Yuugi restrains Jou. Kaiba calls Jou a dog, Jou lashes out, Honda restrains Jou. And so it goes, in this never ending circle.  
  
'Cuz If I stopped reacting, stopped being angry, stopped lashing out, he'd stop paying attention to me as well, wouldn't he?  
  
He would. I mean, if you tease someone and they ignore you, you just go on to find someone else to tease, someone who'd react in some way. It's human nature.  
  
Now the big question: Why on God's green earth would I want Seto Kaiba's attention?  
  
Maybe it's because he has power.  
  
Maybe it's because he's stinkin' rich.  
  
But most likely it's because he's hot as hell.  
  
Yep, that's right. I, Jounouchi Katsuya, think Seto Kaiba is hot. No wait, that's an understatement. Handsome. Gorgeous. Sexy. Whatever you want to call it. And anyone who says he isn't is lying through their teeth. Who would've thought that I like boys, anyway? I sure as hell didn't.  
  
Huh. I guess you learn something new every day.  
  
Ok, so back to the lovely situation I'm in.  
  
I finally said something to upset the great Seto Kaiba. And let me tell you, he is mad as hell. Thing is, I can't even remember what it was that I said. Maybe something about Mokuba? I can't think of anything else that'd get him so riled up.  
  
It's a little frightening to see him this way. I never actually planned to fight him physically, and to tell you the truth, I really don't want to. Unfortunately, that appears inevitable now seeing as we're slowly circling each other, ready for a first move to be made.  
  
I am definitely not throwing the first punch. As I said before, I don't want to fight him. Don't thinks it's because I'm a wuss, 'cuz I pride myself on never running from a fight and always standing up for what I believe in. You should know that. It's because I feel that this fight will put a closure to our "relationship", whatever our "relationship" is. (And I use the term very, very loosely.) If he wins, there'd be no reason for him to stick around and "torment" me anymore. Not that I think that he'll win, mind you, but the outcome would be the same if I win, as well. This would prove once and for all who the better man is, and there'd be no more reason to associate with each other afterwards.  
  
But what else can I do? Sling my arm around his shoulders and say "Hey look, Seto, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. In fact, I never really did want to fight you. What I'd like to do is take you into that little forest over there, rip off your clothes, run my hands all over your hot, sexy body, and fuck your brains out."  
  
Heh. I think not.  
  
'Sides, Kaiba doesn't seem like someone who'd go for dirty talk. Hahah.  
  
God, he sees me smirking now and probably thinks I'm taunting him again in some way. I quickly change my expression to a frown, but he's already sending daggers my way with his glare. Man, if looks could kill, I would've been six feet under a looong time ago.  
  
It feels like I've been standing here for eternities, but in reality it couldn't have been more than maybe two minutes. You don't know how nerve- wracking it is to be in this standoff. There's so much tension in the air you can almost taste it. Come on, Kaiba! Do something! Run at me, punch me, kick me, I don't care, just do something!  
  
All I can do now is wait for his first move. I said I wouldn't throw the first punch, but that doesn't mean that I'm just gonna stand here while he beats the living daylights out of me. Oh no. That first hit will be enough incentive for me to start pounding his sorry ass into the ground.  
  
Not that way, you perv! Although I certainly wouldn't mind.  
  
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. This is just great. I try to will myself to stop thinking about Kaiba in that way but it's too late; I already felt that familiar stir between my legs.  
  
You pick a fan-fucking-tastic time to get a hard-on, Jou.  
  
I'm in more of a panic than I like to admit, but I force myself to calm down.  
  
Okay. alright. Think about boring things, Jou. School, all the Calculus homework that bitch of a teacher assigned for tomorrow, the grass, pretty flowers, rainbows, leprechauns. Yay. Now lets all hold hands and visit the magical fairy in Candyland. (I was being bitterly sarcastic just there, I hope you know.)  
  
This is getting so pathetic. I roll my eyes. At least it got rid of my. ahem. problem.  
  
Oh. Dealing with my "problem", I completely forgot about Kaiba.  
  
You could imagine my shock to find Kaiba charging at me, only about two feet away. My eyes widen slightly for a second, and I feel him tackle me into the mud.  
  
Mud? When had it started raining?  
  
He has me pinned but I force all of my weight up and quickly flip him onto his back. He does the same thing. We keep on rolling, both trying to gain the upper hand. To my surprise he hasn't hit me yet.  
  
Maybe he feels the same way I do?  
  
Hmph. Yeah, right.  
  
He's on top now, and has somehow placed the weight of one of his legs across my knees in such a way that I can't move more than a few inches. He has one of his hands on each of my wrists, twisting my arms and pinning them to the ground. There's no way I can flip him now, much less block off the blow that I know will be coming soon. I close my eyes and prepare myself.  
  
You can take it, Jou. You can take it. You can take it.  
  
I keep repeating that mantra in my head, and I say it maybe ten times before I realize that nothing's happening.  
  
I open my eyes just in time to see Kaiba lean down towards my left ear.  
  
"Now listen to me, Katsuya." He hisses sharply, and continues with the speech.  
  
What's this? All I get is a fucking lecture? Hmm.  
  
I grin inwardly. Maybe, just maybe, if I play my cards right.  
  
It's time to play the part of the helpless victim. I shut my eyes tightly and start to thrash my body as much as I can, but not with enough force to actually do any damage.  
  
"Let me go!" I scream. "Let me up!"  
  
I deserve a fucking Oscar.  
  
Kaiba presses his hands down more firmly, and keeps talking. I stopped listening after the first few words, but I have caught him saying 'Mokuba' several times.  
  
So I was right. I did say something about his brother. Should've known that that topic was off-limits.  
  
Time to put the second part of my plan into action. It's a good thing that Kaiba's body is only inches from mine, or otherwise I wouldn't have been able to reach him, his legs holding me down and all. I lift my thigh up and "accidentally" rub it against his crotch. Repeatedly. If that isn't forward, I don't know what is.  
  
He freezes. He stops talking. I think he also stopped breathing.  
  
I hear the rustle of his clothes as he leans back up. I open my eyes halfway to find him staring at me intently, eyes a little wider than usual, lips parted. My thigh continues to rub him gently, and I feel him start to harden.  
  
Huh. So Seto Kaiba really is just a regular teenager boy with a regular teenage sex-drive. Who would've thought? It sure didn't seem that way.  
  
I lick my bottom lip slowly as I feel Kaiba loosen his grip on me. Feeling that I now have the perfect opportunity, I flip him onto his back and shoot him a quick, suggestive smirk before leaning down and crushing my lips against his. He growls in protest and pushes me back, never once breaking the kiss.  
  
So he likes to be on top. Fine by me.  
  
But gods, he's kissing me back. Seto Kaiba is kissing me. Me, the mutt, of all people. Will the wonders never cease?  
  
Time passed. Don't know how long we stayed like that, making out. 5, 10, 15 minutes? More? Less? I really can't say. My brain turned all mushy-gooey as soon as I felt Kaiba's tongue slipping into my mouth. That's when I completely lost track of everything. I can tell you one thing, though. Kaiba is one helluva kisser.  
  
Finally, he quickly nibbles on my bottom lip and pulls away. He leans back and looks at me, panting. If I didn't know any better, I'd go as far as saying he had on a soft expression, and was almost smiling. But then again, he is Kaiba, and I never know where I stand with him, which drives me crazy.  
  
Is he disgusted with himself for kissing the "dog"? Does he want to strangle me? Maybe he actually liked it.?  
  
I feel like this is probably might be a good time to say something, except that for once, I'm so totally speechless.  
  
"So, umm." I start, before realizing that my voice climbed at least three octaves in pitch, turning into an awkward squeak.  
  
This earns me a low chuckle from Kaiba.  
  
I clamp my jaw shut and break contact with his eyes, blushing furiously.  
  
Great, Jou, he's laughing at you. You managed to make a fucking idiot out of yourself. Yet again.  
  
At last he gets off of me, walks a few steps, and turns around so that I can't see his face. In the meantime I sit up, crossing my legs Indian style, and turn my hands over nervously in my lap. Eternities pass.  
  
I guess it must have been pouring for a while now, 'cuz I notice that both me and Kaiba are drenched to the bone. There is not one inch of dry space on my entire body. Idly I grab the bottom of my shirt and squeeze some water out of it.  
  
I suddenly snap my head up, and an intense wave of resentment washes over me. All I can see is red. My eyes narrow dangerously as I glare at the back of Kaiba's head.  
  
I hate you Kaiba, I hate you. I hate you for what you do to me, you bastard, for how you make me feel.  
  
He throws his head to the side, as though he sensed my glare, and glances at me over his shoulder.  
  
My expression softens significantly and I realize that it's not his fault. None of it is. I should be angry with myself, not him, for acting like a silly pre-teen schoolgirl, with a silly little crush. I'm such an idiot.  
  
"I should be going now," He says abruptly, his words cutting through my thoughts.  
  
I still don't trust my voice, so all I do is nod in response.  
  
He walks over to where our coats lie. Both of us discarded them before our little "battle". He picks up both and tosses me mine. He looks at me again. He opens his mouth, as if to say something, but I guess he decided against it because soon he shuts it. He then turns around and starts walking away.  
  
I watch him walk across the field, through the cement basketball court, and through the little gravel pathway between the tennis courts and school building. He rounds the corner, and I can't see him anymore.  
  
I sigh, then lace my fingers behind my neck and lay down on the grass. Millions of tiny raindrops viciously attack me, and for the first time I'm aware of every single one of them splattering against my body.  
  
Gods, I was so confident before. So confident I knew what I was doing in "seducing" Kaiba. Now I regret it vehemently. I mean, I'm sure it means absolutely nothing to him. And I hate myself because it does mean something to me. I'm not sure why it does, but it does. There's no denying that. For Kaiba, it was probably just an 'easy fuck' type of thing. (Except, of course, we didn't fuck.)  
  
Or maybe it was just another way for him to tease me. To play with my emotions. In fact, now that I think about it, that's most likely it. Jesus Christ, maybe I'll go to school tomorrow only to find that the whole school knows I'm gay. Wouldn't that be fucking perfect. Granted, Kaiba doesn't seem like the type to spread rumors around school just 'cuz he hates someone. That's not his style. And he's not really close to anyone and doesn't have any friends, so I don't know whom he'd tell.  
  
But the possibility is still there.  
  
Jou, what have you gotten yourself into?  
  
I open my eyes, and realize that it's already dark. Shit, what time is it? My dad's gonna kill me. I get up quickly and throw on my coat. I run across the field and hop the fence, heading home. And I still have tons of Calculus homework. This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?  
  
Tomorrow is not a day I'm looking forward to.  
*****  
End Notes: ::sigh:: When I first was struck with the idea to write this fic, my intention was to make it three chapters long. Ideally, the 1st chapter was supposed to describe the events of 6 months through Jou's POV. The 2nd chapter was supposed to contain the same events, only Seto's POV. 3rd chapter was supposed to be the solution the problem of the previous chapters and the conclusion, 3rd person POV. After I wrote the beginning (what you just read), I found it to be waaaaaay too long to be only 3 chapters. Hell, The 1st chapter was supposed to have the events of six whole months, and it already took me seven pages to write what, the first 2 hours? I realize now that if I were to write all that I want to, it would take no less than 15 chapters. And frankly, I don't like how this is turning out. I edited this chapter 8 times, being the meticulous editor that I am, and I'm still not happy with the results. Bleh. Alas, I doubt I'll continue this. I appreciate feedback, though! ^-^ Please review and tell me what you think. No flames! Flames are worth neither your time, nor mine, since I am unfazed by them. However, constructive criticism is very much welcomed! Thanks 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh. Deal with it.  
  
Notes: This chapter is dedicated to all my reviewers. Especially Hi Sukoshi Jigoku Neko (you don't know how many times I had to type that name to get it right because the stupid thing wouldn't copy and paste @_@) because her review made me want to hang my head in shame for even THINKING about not continuing the fic. But that's a good thing :P. Sometimes I need those kind of pushes to force me to keep going. So I decided to write another chapter. After I wrote this, I realized that I had written it in past tense, while my 1st chapter was written in present. I spent my Friday night (which so happened to be the night of my birthday) happily changing all the verb tenses. Heh, no, that's a bit exaggerated. I would've probably been somewhere if I hadn't been sick (being sick on your birthday sucks major ass). But anyways, I actually enjoyed writing this (though I still think this fic sucks). So I hope you enjoy reading it half as much as I liked writing it. :P Jou's POV, because it's just so much fun to write.  
  
*****  
  
Room 121. 123. 125. 127.  
  
There it is, my final destination. The dreaded room 129, 1st period Calculus.  
  
Here is where my fate will be decided. Where my destiny lies. The place of my possible doom. Who would've thought that math could be so dramatic?  
  
My hand pauses on the doorknob. Hell, I'm already at least 10 minutes late. What's another few seconds?  
  
I take in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. I grip the knob more firmly, until my knuckles pale.  
  
There's no sense in prolonging this, Jou. Might as well get it over with.  
  
Before I can change my mind, I turn the knob angrily and step into the classroom. I'm sweating bullets as I scan the room. Everything seems normal enough. There's Yuugi in the front, quietly doing his work like the good little schoolboy he is. There's Anzu, whispering and giggling with one of her girlfriends in the corner. My eyes narrow as they find there way to. him.  
  
His head is bowed over the textbook, occasionally turning to scribble something into his notes.  
  
Cute. How fucking cute.  
  
I almost sneer out loud.  
  
You think you're so sly, Kaiba, don't you? Pretending to the perfect student, having the perfect life? Well guess what? You're not fooling me. I saw through this little façade of yours a looong time ago.  
  
"That's your third tardy this month, Mr. Katsuya." The teacher's voice brings me out of my thoughts and back into reality. "I'm afraid I have to give you a detention."  
  
I turn my head towards Mrs. Hayama, who I don't think lifted her head once from that cheesy romance novel she was reading.  
  
I grab the detention slip from her desk and make my way towards an empty desk, mumbling something that I hope remotely resembles an apology. I plop down into my seat and drag out the calculus books from my bag. I catch Yuugi looking at me worriedly from across the room, and I throw him a half- hearted grin before opening the textbook. I start doodling into my notebook, hoping it looks as though I'm doing something productive.  
  
I pity Yuugi. The poor boy. Always being there to help me deal with my problems, or just to listen. I sometimes wonder whether he's in fact human, or a re-incarnated angel or something. It's just not possible to have so much patience for someone like me. He keeps on telling me that that's what friends are for, but that's hard to believe when the guy has done so much for you, while you're just a fucking burden.  
  
The bell rings and I'm already out the door.  
  
I know, I know. I'm a fucking bastard, aren't I? Just a minute ago I was praising Yuugi like he's a goddamn god and now I'm avoiding him like the plague. Truth is, he really can't help me out on this one. Dragging Yuugi into the middle of this will just make things worse for the both of us. He deserves to keep his sanity, after all.  
  
I have to start dealing with things on my own.  
  
*****  
  
It's after 4:00 pm. I just got out of detention and let me tell you, I had the time of my life. (I really should stop with the sarcasm.)  
  
The halls are deserted, as was to be expected at this time. I mean, who wants to hang around school more than they have to?  
  
Man, I'm so tired. I stayed up until 2:00 am doing that god-forsaken calculus homework. All I want to do now is go home, take a nice, hot shower, and take a little nap. Ah, I'd kill for a nap this very moment.  
  
I yawn and rest my forehead against the locker as I slowly turn the numbers on the lock.  
  
11. 17. 28. and voila. The lock clicks open.  
  
"Who gave you that bruise, Puppy?"  
  
Jesus Christ. I jump up at least two feet in the air. I wasn't expecting to encounter anyone else here.  
  
After recovering from my initial shock, I unconsciously bring my fingers up to rub the bruise under my eye as I turn to see the identity of my assailant. I really don't know why, I already know who it is. I can recognize his voice from a mile away. And even if I couldn't, the 'puppy' would've been a dead giveaway.  
  
After a few seconds of silence he begins again. "Sorry if I startled you."  
  
So I was "startled". Behold the understatement of the century. I was thinking more along the lines of "scared shitless".  
  
What the hell is he doing here anyways? Is he stalking me now?!?  
  
I slam my locker shut.  
  
"Just fuck off," I growl before making my way towards the door, trying to get away as quickly as possible.  
  
"You know, I really don't understand you. All I did was ask you how you got the black eye. One day you're jumping on top of me, and the next you're pissed off. Talk about mood swings. You're worse than a woman."  
  
I stop dead in my tracks and whirl around to stare at him in disbelief. God, can you believe the fucking nerve of this guy? I can't believe he just said that.  
  
"I was on top of you? I was on top of you?!? Why are you even still here? Don't you have anything better to do than to hang around school after class?" Now he's blaming me for everything?!  
  
He shrugs and leans back against the row of lockers nonchalantly, as if he could care less about this whole situation. "You're the one that started this thing, remember?" He folds his arms across his chest and tilts his chin up to stare absently at an invisible spot on the wall behind me. "I don't know. I guess I wanted to check up on you. But I see now that you're right," He stares me straight in the eye, "I shouldn't be wasting my time on some insignificant street dog."  
  
That's it. That's the last straw. First the guy hates me and he wants to kill me. Then he kisses me. Now he's insulting me. Again. Jeez, and he calls me the freaking woman?! So I do the only thing that will pacify my anger at the moment. I march right up to him and punch him square in the jaw. The momentum of my fist sends him stumbling into a nearby garbage can. I reel around and walk away. Away from him, away from his fucking games.  
  
Take that, Kaiba.  
  
I'm literally about to go out through the double doors when a sudden pang of guilt washes over me, and I stop.  
  
Maybe I overreacted a little. Maybe I shouldn't hit him.  
  
No, no, no. I will NOT feel bad about what I just did. The son of a bitch deserved it. He had it coming to him. That's what happens when you toy with Jounouch Katsuya's feelings.  
  
God, my conscience likes to make itself known at the worst possible times. Nevertheless, curiosity also mixes in with my guilt. Why would Seto even care about me and my bruise.? I'm not the type of person to keep my feelings hidden from anyone. Oh no. I like to let people know exactly what's on my mind. So I ask him.  
  
"Why do you care? About my bruise, I mean?"  
  
I look at him, and to my surprise (and to yours, I'm sure) I feel like crying.  
  
Christ, Jou, you're turning into a girl.  
  
It's just that he looks so miserable, standing there, slouched, hand covering the slowly forming bruise on his jaw. I have never seen him like this before. He's always, stoic, cold, aloof. Now he looks vulnerable. And it's because of me.  
  
Somehow I force myself not to think about that right at this particular moment and wait impatiently for his response. This should be good.  
  
Dark brown eyes peer at me from under the chocolate colored mop of hair.  
  
Silence. Then, "Because... I didn't think you were the type to take a beating sitting down, Jounouchi. I guess it got me worried." He smiles softly.  
  
He's smiling. I punched him, and he's smiling. Not only is he smiling, but he's smiling at ME.  
  
Well don't I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet.  
  
Here comes the guilt again, only it isn't just a pang anymore. It's more like a wave. No, it's like hundreds of waves crashing against me over and over again, slamming me into jagged cliffs, choking and battering me until I can't breath. On top of that, in the waves are those little crabs that like to nip on your toes. Only there's millions of them, chewing and biting, torturing slowly. There are sharks, too. Can't forget the sharks.  
  
So yeah, as you can see I'm feeling a lot of guilt. Heh.  
  
All this because he asked me who gave me the stupid bruise.  
  
"Besides," He continues, with a sideways toss of the head and a smirk, "I don't like it when other people touch my property."  
  
My jaw drops and I feel my face heat up. He chuckles.  
  
I must have stood there for a long time, closing and opening my mouth again and again like a fish, because soon he's next to me, palm pressed against my back, leading me out the door. I think he just said that he's going to walk me home, but I can't really know for sure because my mind is all fuzzy and I haven't regained all my senses yet.  
  
It really is amazing what a couple of words can do to a person. I'm only now starting to digest what he said. He said that I'm his property.  
  
So I belong to Seto Kaiba. He owns me.  
  
Or at least he thinks he does. We'll just have to see about that later, won't we? (Insert suggestive grin here)  
  
Anyway, we walk the rest of the way in silence. Not the tense kind of silence like before. It's a comforting kind of silence. Like we finally have a sort of understanding of one another.  
  
Sadly, we were bound to reach my house at one point or another, and I guess that point has come. We're currently standing on my porch.  
  
I feel like I owe him something, for all the shit he has put up with from me. I at least owe him the answer to his question.  
  
"My father." I say solemnly.  
  
"What?"  
  
He's confused. Heh, he has the right to be. That did kinda come out of nowhere.  
  
"My father. He's the one that beats me." There. I said it.  
  
I look down, afraid of his reaction. But from the quick glance that I do steal, I notice that his eyes narrow and lips press into a tight frown.  
  
Is he mad?  
  
"It's not like it really hurts or anything anymore. I'm used to it. It's not that bad. It really isn't. It's just when he gets mad at me or something, he doesn't know how else to react. Besides, It's entirely my fault. I'm the one who does all the stupid things to piss him off."  
  
Why am I defending my father, anyway?  
  
I really hate talking about this, so I change the topic.  
  
"Well, I have a lot of homework to do and stuff, so." I trail off, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans. He takes a quick look at his watch.  
  
Suddenly, he tilts up my chin gently with his hand and looks me in the eye. His other hand squeezes my forearm lightly.  
  
God, he has the most beautiful eyes. It sounds corny, but it's true. They look like they have fifty different dimensions to them, all with different depths and shapes. I've never seen eyes like his before. They're mesmerizing.  
  
He rubs his thumb against my bruise slowly, almost reassuringly. "Yeah, I have to get going," He leans back and smiles. "I'll see you tomorrow." With that, he plants a soft kiss on my lips and leaves.  
  
And somehow I know everything's going to be O.K.  
  
*****  
  
End notes: Bleh, I hate this chapter. Wah, how the hell did this fic get to be so sappy!? ;_; I promise this'll be the only sap-filled part for a while. Anyways, not much Seto/Jou action in here, but be patient. It will come. I promise. Also, it's a little slow-moving right now. I promise that that'll change soon. Lots of action up ahead. (In more ways than one ;P) On a lighter note, I think I cut back a little on the swearing, which is good. :X ::yawn:: If I decide to write another chapter, it won't be out for a while. I have a huge research paper on Vonnegut's 'Slaughterhouse-Five' due soon. So yeah. Funfun. Anyways, the feedback thing still applies. It's much appreciated. Thanks. ^_^ 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I still don't own Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Warnings: Lots of yaoi, and lots of CURSING!!! Go away if it offends you.  
  
Notes: Jou's point of view. Thanks to all the people who reviewed. You are awesome! ^_^ This chapter is dedicated to: 1. Vicky, cuz she is such a cool person and it was her 17th B-day a couple of days ago. Happy Birthday! 2. Lydia (though she has never read this story and never will, if I can help it) because she's my muse. ::hughughug:: Also, I used some of her expressions in this chapter. (Like 'insensitive prick', she called me that on several occasions ¬.¬) 3. This cute little boy who randomly challenged me to a duel in the middle of the food court, and kicked my ass. Badly. And then he made fun of me. And then he made me give him $2. Thank you. But no worries, I will be back next week, seeking my revenge. I have to win back at least some of my pride, after all. (Why the hell am I dedicating this to him? Oh well. ::shrugs::) And 4. To all my reviewers! I wuv you guys! ::sniff:: And onto the story!  
  
*****  
  
I walk down the gravel road, hands shoved into the pockets of my jeans. I'm not even sure where I am. I started walking at about 7:30 am and haven't stopped since.  
  
It's 12:30 now. I should be in school, but I'm not. For some reason my legs just wouldn't take me there.  
  
It sounds stupid, but it's true.  
  
Shit, if my father finds out that I've been ditching school again I'll end up in the emergency room.  
  
Yeah, the bastard doesn't care if I'm lying dead in some alley, but it's real important that I go to school. Doesn't make any fucking sense.  
  
But I don't care that he despises me, that he wishes I were never born. I don't care. I don't fucking give a damn.  
  
I don't.  
  
Really, I don't.  
  
I should stop skipping school, though. If I don't get into college I'll be stuck with my oh-so-loving dad for even longer. And believe me, even in missing one day of school there's a pile of homework you have to catch up on. It sucks.  
  
Too bad I'm not a fucking genius like Kaiba.  
  
Heh, Kaiba. Almost forget about him.  
  
Actually, you know what? I'm not even going there. All I'll say is that I still hate him. And I'm not going to talk to, interact with, or look at him ever again.  
  
Yes, I'm being stubborn.  
  
Yes, I'm acting very childish.  
  
And yes, I've been avoiding him for about 2 weeks now.  
  
Why? I'm not sure. Maybe it was because I realize that Kaiba could never sincerely care about me. He wouldn't. He's just. not. like that. He's a selfish, cold-hearted jerk. He doesn't care about anyone but himself, except maybe Mokuba. But that's because they're family.  
  
And we definitely can't carry on a 'fuck-buddy' type of relationship, because those always lead to heartbreak. It's not possible for two people to share something so intimate and feel nothing more than just plain lust for the other person. Eventually romantic feelings will develop, at least in one of the individuals.  
  
I KNOW that one individual would be me, because Kaiba has this remarkable super-human ability to not let anything affect him emotionally.  
  
Thus, in order for me not to get hurt, I must stay far, far, away from that hot, sexy bastard. Or die trying.  
  
So much for not talking about Seto, eh? Oh well.  
  
I kick a stray pebble down the path and look up to see where I have wandered to. I've been walking for a while, but never bothered to pay attention to where I was going.  
  
It seems that I'm standing right in front of the gates to the Kaiba mansion. How fucking ironic.  
  
I'm not surprised. I laugh bitterly and shake my head. It was probably some weird unconscious mind-thing that led me here.  
  
I saunter up to the iron gates and allow myself to marvel shamelessly at the Kaiba estate for a few moments.  
  
Man, the place is fucking HUGE. The guy has everything-- money, fame, power, a family that loves him, more money.  
  
Lucky bastard. I bet he can get any girl he wants. Or boy. Whatever floats his boat. I never would have thought that he 'walks both sides of the blade', though. But hey, who can honestly say they're completely straight nowadays?  
  
Gods, what I wouldn't give to live like he does. It's just not fair. The guy has everything that he ever wanted, and yet he isn't happy. What else can he want? Jeez. He never even smiles. I sure as hell would be leaping for joy if I had that much money. I don't understand him. I don't think I'll ever be able to. That guy is a fucking mystery to me.  
  
I know I'm being unfair and unreasonable in saying that because he has a shitload of money means that he MUST be happy. I know there's more to it than that. It's just hard to understand when the guy has everything you want but will never have.  
  
I shove my hands back into my pockets and turn away from the mansion, almost angrily. I should go. All marveling at Kaiba's wealth is doing is almost giving me a reason to justify my self-pity, and that's not good. You can't justify self-pity. Ever.  
  
"Jou, wait!" The voice comes out as a half cough from the Kaiba mansion. I nearly jump when I hear it.  
  
Gods, Kaiba??! No, no. It doesn't sound like him.  
  
To my relief, Mokuba is running towards me, still in his flannel pj's, robe, and fuzzy slippers. As he runs across the lawn, the grass his feet come in contact with flattens. I almost feel sorry. It was so perfect and even before, and now it's not. Everything Kaiba owns is just so damn perfect.  
  
He finally reaches the gate and opens it with a loud 'clank'.  
  
"Hey Jou!" He greets, his voice raspy and out of breath.  
  
"Hey, what's up?" I reply, for lack of anything better to say.  
  
"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in school?"  
  
I blink stupidly several times. I'm setting a great example for the kid, aren't I?  
  
"Uh, yeah." I finally stammer. "I dunno. Didn't feel like going. I started walking and I guess I ended up here." I shrug and throw him a casual glance. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"  
  
He points to his throat and say in that same scratchy voice, "Sick."  
  
Oh. Ok then.  
  
"Oh, I know! You're waiting for Seto, aren't you?"  
  
My face immediately heats up. He told his little brother about our. 'thing'?!?  
  
"N-no!" I manage to sputter out. "Why would I be waiting for that. that." I'm at a loss for words, and I'm practically yelling now. I think I scared Mokuba with my sudden outburst.  
  
But Seto told him. I can't believe he actually TOLD him. Now the kid thinks I'm some perverted stalker. Great.  
  
"Jeez, sorry Jou. I was just thinking that 'cuz Seto mentioned something about a project you two had to work on together."  
  
Project. project? What project?  
  
Shit. The Lit. project in which our teacher managed to conveniently pair us up. Heh. Yet another bitter irony.  
  
There goes my plan of never talking to Kaiba again.  
  
"Yeah, we do have a project. I'm really sorry about that." It's the only thing I can say to prevent me from looking like even more of a jackass than I already proved to be.  
  
Mokuba smiles and shakes his head. "No, it's alright. You could come inside and wait. School should end in about an hour, so you won't have to wait that long."  
  
He actually thinks I'm going to go inside the house? I'd rather hit myself in the face with a brick.  
  
"No, I have to get going. Just tell him I'll talk to him tomorrow," I answer, turning to leave.  
  
"Oh. Alright." He frowns slightly, but then smiles and waves. "Goodbye!"  
  
"Bye," I say and start down the street. "You should get back to bed!" I call out. The kid's sick, after all.  
  
He nods and smiles again. "I will!"  
  
I should probably go home. I have some extra time, so maybe I can study and catch up on my schoolwork. Then at least this day won't be a complete waste.  
  
Damn. This projects means that I will be spending a lot of time with Kaiba. It'll take good week of us meeting up for several hours a day to get it done, and done well. Maybe even more. Gods, I'm gonna be spending at least three hours each and every day with Kaiba, for one whole week. I don't think I can handle it. I'll either end up killing him, or.  
  
I feel the flush rise to my cheeks again. I'm sure you can use your imagination to figure out what that 'or' is. In any case, it would be a helluva lot worse than killing him.  
  
And the project itself will be grueling as well. There's so much research and work to do. It will require me to put more effort than I usually put into school since it's worth thirty percent of my semester grade. I'm really gonna have to put my ass into it. It more ways than one.  
  
Christ, Jou. There you go, thinking about fucking Kaiba again. Does a second go by that you don't think about sex?  
  
Just goes to show you that I'm a perfectly healthy adolescent boy. Heheh.  
  
When will this horny/perverted-teenager phase be over anyways? I swear, my hormones will be the end of me.  
  
As I round the last corner, only I half a block away from my house, I notice the silhouette of a person sitting on my porch steps. Kaiba.  
  
This guy is un-fucking-believable.  
  
Now he's fucking invading my personal space? Who the fuck does he think he is??! Ok, so maybe I have been sending him mixed signals, but I'm through with that. He can fucking sit on the porch all night, if I care. I don't fucking ever want to see him again. Except for this damn project.  
  
I deviate from the sidewalk and decide to use the back door so I can avoid any possible interaction with Kaiba. Hopefully he won't notice me.  
  
So such luck. He has left his perch on the steps and is only a few feet behind me. Bastard. He can fucking go to hell.  
  
With a sudden burst of rage, I turn around and snarl, "Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone?"  
  
He frowns. We stand there for several moments, staring at each other, and finally he asks quietly, "What is wrong with you?"  
  
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??! Excuse me, but I'm not the sick freak who likes to fuck other guys! I'm not the faggot!"  
  
Shit. I so did not mean that. He actually flinched. Oh gods. I really should learn how to think before I say anything. That was way off line.  
  
We stand there for a few long seconds, neither of us moving.  
  
Finally, Kaiba says, "Fine. Whatever. I give up. Just meet me tomorrow in the library after school."  
  
I have to say something- an apology, anything. My mouth opens, but no words come out. He leaves hastily, but not before adding bitterly, "That is, unless you think that I, the fag, will rape you or something. Because you are just so perfectly straight, Jou."  
  
Shit.  
  
I stand there for a long time, long after Kaiba disappears from my view.  
  
I swallow the lump in the back of my throat. I really fucked things up this time, didn't I? All the things I called Kaiba I should be calling myself instead. It's like the teapot calling the kettle black. I'm the gay one. I'm the fag. This is all my fault, I shouldn't be the angry one. And he has every right to be angry with me. He really did care. Until I screwed everything up. Dammit.  
  
I'm in my locked bathroom, staring at the reflection in front of me.  
  
Look at you. You're a real fuck-up. Can't you do anything right? You should just die, you're not worthy to live. All you do is take up space on this earth, space that could be used for a better person than you are. You should just kill yourself and make everyone happy. They wouldn't care. No one would. Who COULD care about you? You're just a burden for everyone- Your father, Yuugi, Honda, Kaiba. Do them all a favor. Die. Burn in hell, like you deserve.  
  
I shatter the mirror with my fist, causing a shower of shimmering glass droplets to rain down everywhere. very pretty.  
  
I open the medicine cabinet and take a handful of pills from the jar, enough to knock me out. I swallow them all dry and slump to the floor. I bring my knees up to my chest and lay my forehead against my folded arms. I feel the affect of the pills taking its course.  
  
I'm a child again, playing on the dismal, desolate beach of eternal despair.  
  
Running away, giggling delightfully, echoing, from the infernal black waves.  
  
Don't let them catch you.  
  
But they have. Ankles surrounded by their whirling madness.  
  
So calm, so patient. They're always there for me. They'll never shun me.  
  
Don't let them catch you.  
  
But they have to. I WANT them to. They're so perfect and innocent. Only for a little bit, I promise. They just want to play.  
  
Don't let them catch you.  
  
Neck deep, almost done. Too late to take it back, we're already in the macabre dance now, the sand is our floor, the thunder our symphony.  
  
Don't let them catch you.  
  
But this is my dream, my nightmare, my hope, my flaw, my reality. This is all I have.  
  
Please, don't let them catch you.  
  
I am swept up into the dark abyss.  
  
*****  
  
I have to say I feel better today after than chemically induced sleep. I realize now that I have the possibility of making everything right between us if I apologize. And if I'm not forgiven, hell, I know I at least tried.  
  
I really am sorry, Kaiba. So, so sorry. I hope that you will forgive me, and maybe then we could be friends. Or more, but that's up to you. I really do care as well.  
  
I enter the library and scan the area before my eyes fall on a trench coat wearing dark-haired figure sitting at one of the tables in the far right corner of the room. It's Kaiba, no doubt. I close my eyes for a couple of seconds and then proceed to make my way through the maze of scattered chairs and tables. Finally at the table, I drop my book bag and plop down into the seat across from Kaiba. I guess this is the time to make my plea. "Look, Kaiba. I really want to tell you that I'm-"  
  
"Here, look through these." He never once looked up from the text he was skimming as he shoves a stack of books towards me.  
  
I sigh and take the topmost book from what seems like a pile of a thousand. So he doesn't want to hear it. I'm definitely not going to push it. God knows I've done that enough already. I'll leave it as it is for now.  
  
*****  
  
I glance up at the clock. We've been here for two hours, and I'm on the fourth book. I can't ignore it anymore. I wish there was something I could say to show him that I really am sorry. Or something I could do. After all, actions speak louder than words.  
  
I lean back in the chair and curl my lip, balancing a pencil between it and my nose.  
  
Suddenly I get a brilliant idea. My ingenious mind is at work again. Heheh. It's a long shot, and will probably result in my death, but it's worth a try.  
  
I slump back down over the book, placing my elbows and forearms on the table and resting my chin on my folded hands.  
  
Ok, so I said I wouldn't initiate anything with Kaiba, and now I'm about to. I'm a walking contradiction. But I can't help myself. He looks so adorable, biting his bottom lip, brows furrowed in concentration.  
  
And he calls ME the puppy.  
  
He catches me staring at him, and I smile. He just raises an eyebrow and gives me a 'get back to work' look before returning his own attention to the book in front of him.  
  
I quickly smirk before slipping my shoe off as quietly as I can. I feel my way to Kaiba's leg with my socked foot. Coming in contact with his ankle, I stroke it with my toes. Kaiba's head immediately snaps up, eyes wide, and I respond to his stare by cocking my head to the side and giving the best 'innocent' look I can muster without laughing out loud. It's amusing to see Kaiba like this. This proves that there much more to him than that emotionless shell he always displays. I slowly draw a line up the side of his leg, never breaking contact with his eyes. I hear the pen Kaiba was holding hit the floor as I retrace the line I made before moving my foot up to the inside of his thighs.  
  
My foot gradually inches further down Kaiba's thighs, but I doubt I'll be bold enough to actually get to his crotch. Despite all my talk, I've never actually. you know, 'done it'. Yeah, go ahead and laugh, I'm a virgin, as much as I hate to admit it. And I'm not gonna say stuff like 'I'm just waiting for the right person' and shit like that, because it'd be a load of bull crap. It's just. I dunno. I had chances before, with both sexes, but I just don't want to do something I'm gonna regret later.  
  
So maybe I am waiting for the right person. I don't know.  
  
Kaiba's face is a deep crimson, and this time I don't hold my laugh.  
  
Getting a little turned on, aren't we, Kaiba?  
  
Before I can even blink one more time, Kaiba jerks himself out of the chair with so much force that it tips dangerously. My eyes are wide as he leans over me, growling as he grabs me by the collar, and drags me out of my chair. I nearly trip as he as he hauls me off behind him.  
  
Oh gods. He's going to kill me. He's so pissed. I went too far. He's going to murder me.  
  
I'm stumbling after him as he winds his way through the labyrinth of books, until we come to the obscure 'Gardening' section that is hardly visited by anyone.  
  
So when I'm beaten to a bloody pulp and left for dead there'll be no one to help me. Great.  
  
Kaiba pushes me against the bookshelf and I hear it rattle, causing me to wince. He leans in and points an accusing finger at me.  
  
"You," He pants out sharply, "You tease."  
  
The he crushes his lips against mine. Hard.  
  
So he isn't going to kill me. He's kissing me. MUCH better.  
  
I feel like my legs will give out any second now, so I slide to the ground, legs stretched out in front of me. Kaiba has no choice but to follow, crouching beside me. We didn't even break apart.  
  
I forgotten that we're IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING LIBRARY, but I don't mind, and Kaiba certainly doesn't seem to mind, so it's all good.  
  
I bring one of my hands under Kaiba's coat and under his shirt, massaging the ridges of his rib cage. My face burns as he brings both of his hands on either side of my cheeks and rubs them with his thumbs.  
  
Kaiba sucks on my bottom lip for a few moments before completely pulling away.  
  
"You've been a bad puppy," He breathes. I close my eyes and bite my lip to suppress a moan as I feel his hot breathe caress my ear. "I'm going to have to teach how to finish what you started."  
  
Finish what I started? What the h-  
  
Oh.  
  
OH. I glance down through half-lidded eyes at Kaiba's crotch. Oh that. I didn't mean to do THAT.  
  
I feel his hands at the side of my head, and I find myself in the middle of another bruising kiss. I shut my eyes and tangle my finger in Kaiba's soft mass of hair.  
  
I enjoy this. I really do. I wouldn't mind staying like this forever.  
  
My mind suddenly registers a loud 'thump' coming from behind us, but I'm still not sure if I heard it. This time I pull away, looking past Kaiba's shoulder. He growls out of frustration, and I just motion for him to turn around. I rest my head against the bookshelf and sigh as he shifts.  
  
He is now face to face with a curly-haired girl, a little younger than myself, gaping at us, jaw dropped. A thick line of pink appears, spreading across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose.  
  
Not one of us moves for a long time. Kaiba's glaring at her, she's gaping at as, and I just staring off into space, wishing that she hadn't wandered over. I'm sure this is uncomfortable for all three of us, especially her.  
  
Oh well. It's her own damn fault. Who the fuck goes into the 'Gardening' section, anyway?  
  
Kaiba catches me off guard when he grabs the back of my neck and gives me a soft, closed-mouthed kiss on the lips. I see him look the girl right in the eye as he slowly swiped his tongue across my lip.  
  
The girl's eyes only grew wider, but it looks like Kaiba's little display finally brought her out of her shock.  
  
"S-s-s-sorry, I-I'm s-sorry for interrupting you," She stutters, turning on her heel and practically running away. Her book was lying on the ground, untouched.  
  
I slide further down the bookshelf until I'm lying flat on the ground, almost in an attempt to melt into the floor.  
  
Poor girl. Must have been embarrassing for her, seeing two people making out in the library. Two guys, at that. She probably thinks we have some sick gardening fetish.  
  
My eyes close and I massage my temples with my fingers. I have a killer headache, and I'm exhausted. I wouldn't mind taking a nap right now, even if I am in the middle of the 'Gardening' section of the library.  
  
"Are you going to lay there all day?"  
  
Leave it to Kaiba to be so blunt. I shoot him a glare and stand up.  
  
Or rather, I ATTEMPT to stand up. My legs fell asleep, causing them to not want to cooperate with me. I barely manage to grab hold of a shelf to keep me from falling on my ass.  
  
This, of course, earns me another one of those chuckles from Kaiba.  
  
Hmph. Insensitive prick.  
  
"Need a little help?" He asks, still smirking.  
  
"No," I answer sharply, regaining my balance. I'd rather drink a gallon of bleach than admit that I need help from Kaiba.  
  
I absently brush the sides of my pants and push past Kaiba towards the main area of the library.  
  
Once there, I throw several books into my bag and sling it over my shoulder.  
  
I'm about to leave, but Kaiba tells me to hold on a sec so I lean against the doorframe and wait.  
  
I am soo whipped. But I know that I earned it, after acting like a huge jackass. I'm surprised Kaiba is even talking to me. What the hell did I do to deserve a guy like him? I really am lucky.  
  
I turn my head just in time to see Kaiba returning the dropped book to the curly-haired girl, who was once again as red as a tomato. Heheh.  
  
Kaiba is soon makes his way over to me and we leave, heading down the marble steps towards the main street.  
  
Halfway down the stairs, I stop dead in my tracks.  
  
Fuuuuuuuck. Now THIS is embarrassing. I can't believe that the shoe I took off earlier is still sitting under the table. I'm such an idiot. I mean, what kind of person doesn't notice that they've been walking around with only one shoe on? I guess my mind was occupied with. other things.  
  
Kaiba now turns around, noticing that I have stopped. He gives me a questioning look. There is no way in hell that I'm going to admit to him that I left my shoe in the library. It would just give him another reason to tease me. I have to come up with a brilliant plan. "Uh, I. kinda, you know, left something in the library, like maybe a. book or something."  
  
Congrats, Jou. That sounded so incredibly believable. I'm sure it never even once crossed Kaiba's mind that you are lying.  
  
Oh well. I never was a good liar. At least I made a descent excuse to go back into the library.  
  
As I'm about to turn around, Kaiba holds something out in front of him. My shoe.  
  
I blink and feel the color rise to my cheeks. He chuckles.  
  
"I was wondering how long it would take you to realize that you didn't have one of your shoes," He says.  
  
"Jerk." I mutter half-heartedly, before snatching my shoe away and slipping it on. He just chuckles again.  
  
God dammit. Am I really that amusing?  
  
.Don't answer that.  
  
So we are on our way to my house. Just like a typical date, the guy walks the girl home. Only why do I always have to be the girl? It's not fair.  
  
Wait. It's like he has forgiven me even though I haven't apologized. I'm not letting myself get away with that. I take a deep breath and stop, wrapping my arms around Kaiba's waist, drawing him closer to me and forcing him to stop as well. He is clearly startled by my sudden display of affection.  
  
Call me a coward, but I can't look him in the eyes, so I bury my face into the crook of his neck.  
  
Damn him for being several inches taller than me.  
  
"I have to tell you that I am sorry for yesterday, and that I didn't mean anything I said. It was just. spur of the moment, I guess." I start quietly. This is harder than I thought it would be.  
  
"I know." He replies with a smile, bringing up a hand to rub the expanse of skin between my shoulder blades.  
  
We stay like that for a little bit. I don't know what else to say to him, but I don't think there is anything else TO say. This is. comforting, safe, like there is nothing else that matters except this moment, this time and place. I even ceased to care if anyone from school sees us. Screw them. Who says that we can't go out? We have the same rights as every other person on this goddamned planet.  
  
I'm not going to worry about what other people think anymore, they could go and fuck themselves. I'm going to do what makes ME happy for once, and you better believe that Kaiba makes me happy.  
  
*****  
End Notes: Research paper is done, Latin exams are over. So yeah, I could probably update this fic weekly. I'm sure you are all thrilled. ::sarcasm:: ¬.¬ ::yawn:: This fic is getting too sappy for my tastes. I think it is time to lay down the angst and make Jou and Kaiba's happy little worlds come crashing down upon them. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! One thing I really want to do is to write this chapter in Seto's POV. I meant to do Jou's POV and Seto's POV at the same time, and post them up at the same time as well, but that would have taken another month, most likely. But yeah. We'll see how I feel later. Who knows. I remind myself too much of Seto, though, and I'm afraid I'll make the story too personal. But then again, what 'art' (I don't think this is exactly art, however) isn't personal? 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- I don't own Yu-gi-oh.  
  
A.N: No, I haven't disappeared! (much to your dismay, I'm sure XP)  
  
FIRST AND FOREMOST- I'M IN DIRE NEED OF A BETA-READER!!!! Please, if you want to be my beta-reader (and I'll love you if you do) e-mail me or IM me! I'll be ever so grateful! ^_^  
  
Sooo, please excuse any grammar mistakes I have made. I like to blame my bad grammar on the fact that English isn't my native language, and that I don't have a beta-reader.  
  
Now, my excuse for taking so long XD- Basically, lost my motivation for this fic. Caught up in school, then last-minute A-cen preparations, then school again. The last straw was having to deal with the frustration and disappointment of loosing 4 hours' worth of corrections and additions at school. (My private, catholic school, no less. . At least my name wasn't on it)  
  
This is dedicated to Lydia again, 'cuz she pretty much forced me to finish the chapter. ~_~ Also, to Ishida Kat, because your review was awesome and made me go "aww" ^-^ (I'm SUCH a sap .) And, as usual, to all my other reviewers! I love you guys! (Also thank you for bringing the "..." thing to my attention. Didn't notice it before. ~_~  
  
Have a lemon half-done that comes before this chapter (you'll see what I mean). Maybe will post it on a website if I ever get one.  
  
Enough of my babble, on with the fic! ENJOY!  
  
*****  
  
I wish I had the power to move time.  
  
Not by much, only about 30 minutes or so. You see, that's exactly how much longer I have until I'm free for the weekend. Then, I'll be able to spend the next glorious 48 hours in the confines of Kaiba's lovely bedroom. The bed, to be exact. Lately I've been getting to know Kaiba's bed rather... intimately.  
  
I find my desk after getting some papers from the teacher, and slowly lower myself into the seat. I shift gently to find the position that causes me the least pain. My ass still hurts from... uh... things.  
  
...Yeah. I grin at the memories.  
  
As I finally start to settle down, Kaiba chuckles knowingly from somewhere behind me and I automatically jerk my hand up to give him the finger.  
  
The bastard has to rub it in, doesn't he? It's all HIS fault, anyways.  
  
I slide down until I can rest my head on the back of the seat and sulk to myself.  
  
On the plus side, Jounouchi Katsuya has FINALLY discovered the wonderful, wonderful world of sex. Moreover, sex with Kaiba. Magnificent, fantastic, amazing sex. And Jounouchi Katsuya thought it was... incredible. ...wow. It was... wow.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
But I'm sure none of you want to hear about THAT. Heheh.  
  
...  
  
Before I can control it, my mind starts replaying some of the more... interesting events of the previous nights.  
  
Goddammit. As hard as I try, I can't prevent certain body parts from reacting accordingly on their own.  
  
I quickly open my book and flip to lesson I think that we are on, forcing myself to read through the printed text. I have found nothing to be as effective in taming erections as Calculus is.  
  
"If f'(x) is bounded then f(x)is a Lipschitzian function. Conversely, it is also true that Lipschitzian functions have bounded first derivatives, when they exist. Since Lipschitzian functions are uniformly continuous, then f(x) is uniformly continuous provided f'(x) is bounded."  
  
Huh. Fascinating. Simply fascinating.  
  
Now if only I understood it.  
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Kaiba putting his notes away and rising from his chair. He walks over to the teacher's desk and asks her something, probably if he can go to his locker to get some imaginary book that he allegedly forgot. As he makes his way towards the door, he makes sure to catch my eye and casually tosses me a look.  
  
Not just any look, but THE look.  
  
What is the difference, you ask? Let me enlighten you.  
  
THE look ('[th]E 'luk): expression of the face given by the one Seto Kaiba to Jounouchi Katsuya, or vice versa, signifying Jounouchi Katsuya or Seto Kaiba to meet the other of the two persons in the third floor men's bathroom for a hardcore make out session, on average lasting for four to seven minutes  
  
I glance up at the clock. I'll wait a minute or two before I follow to alleviate any suspicions my classmates might be having about us.  
  
1...  
  
2...  
  
3...  
  
4...  
  
5...  
  
6 seconds passed. Damn. It'll only drag on if I keep staring at the clock. I fidget in my seat, and then decide to occupy myself with drawing random stick figures with my limited artistic abilities.  
  
I pause and smile to myself. There's Kaiba, with the fangs and the "angry" eyebrows. Ironically, my stick person bears a striking resemblance to that evil bastard.  
  
Ok, now let's draw that trench coat of his.  
  
I look up to examine what I just drew, and scowl at what I find. The cuffs of the sleeves don't look right. I managed to make it look as if his wrists were bound together or tied, or something...  
  
Mmmm... Kaiba tied up... tied up to a bed... bondage... whips... Him writhing beneath me, screaming for release... His very existence (at least for the moment) in my hands...  
  
Dammit.  
  
I let me forehead fall gracelessly and hit the desk with a 'thud' in an attempt to shatter the fantasies that manage to somehow creep into my mind at least once every 5 seconds.  
  
This really isn't an appropriate time or place to be thinking about these kinds of things.  
  
"Are you alright, Jou?" The soft voice carries me out of my reverie.  
  
I feel a warm hand on my shoulder and look up to see Yuugi leaning over, looking at me worriedly with those huge, purple eyes of his.  
  
Heh. I must have startled him with my sudden head banging.  
  
"Never been better, Yug," I manage to smile weakly, and raise my hand as if to wave off his concern.  
  
I watch as his head tilts slightly to the side, his expression changing from worry to something stronger.  
  
There are several emotions that Yuugi displays on a regular basis. Worry, care, determination, and just plain happiness are a few of them. This one, however, is one that I have not seen him wear before. It's less naive, more serious, and more... real. Some small epiphany is taking place behind those polished amethyst eyes, and for the first time I truly do not know what is going through his mind.  
  
I start to feel very uncomfortable under the vehement gaze, like an insect that is about to be stepped on. Which is completely irrational since Yuugi never was one to intentionally hurt those gross little critters (he's actually quite fond of them), and I certainly am no bug.  
  
Nonetheless, my uneasiness gets the best of me and I allow myself to break eye contact and move my gaze away from those contemplating violet orbs.  
  
Yuugi sits back into his seat and when I have the courage to glimpse at his face again, I see that the concern replaced the unreadable expression that was there only seconds ago. I give him a small smile, partly in relief and partly to ease his worry, which he is happy to return.  
  
That reassured him enough to settle any doubts he had because he is again absorbed in his book.  
  
I look down at my own book to see Kaiba's disproportional face staring back at me from the margin. My eyes widen in sudden alarm as I remember about Kaiba.  
  
Kaiba, by himself, all alone in the cold, empty bathroom... Having no one but the rats to keep him company...  
  
Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic.  
  
But still... shit. How long has he been waiting?  
  
A quick glance at the clock tells me that it has been no longer than 2 minutes, much to my relief.  
  
I stand up leisurely, stretch a little (to give the illusion that I'm not at all in a hurry), and announce to Yuugi that I'll be right back. I ask the teacher permission to use the washroom, and leave the room after she nods her head in consent.  
  
Damn. This is my fifth trip to the bathroom today. The teachers probably think that I'm developing some major bladder control problems. It's actually more of a self-control issue, really. Perhaps I should try harder to restrain myself.  
  
But come on, This is Seto Kaiba we're talking about. How can you blame me?  
  
I push the bathroom door open and glance around.  
  
Huh. He's not here. He either stopped by his locker first to get a book, or is taking the longer route through the 'Mathematics' hallway. Whichever it is, he should get here soon. Kaiba would never skip out on these little sessions. NEVER.  
  
I hop onto the edge of a sink and swing my legs erratically over the side, idly tracing the pattern of the floor tiles with my eyes. Some underclassman next to me finishes drying his hands and gives me a curious look as he exits. Probably wondering why I'm hanging out in the bathroom.  
  
Stupid freshmen. They finally get into high school and think they own the place. Ch.  
  
As soon as the door closes behind the kid, I hear the lock click into place and am startled to see Kaiba only a few strides away from me.  
  
His talent to appear seemingly out of nowhere never ceases to amaze me.  
  
Kaiba's in front of me in a second. He brings his hands up to my poor, injured butt to yank me down from my perch on the sink, successfully slamming our bodies together and sending an unexpected jolt of pleasure up my spine.  
  
"Hey, hey, hey!" I say indignantly. "Careful with the ass!"  
  
He's abused it enough already as it is.  
  
Kaiba lets his hands glide up to settle on my waist as he dips his head forward, closing in the distance between our faces so that his forehead is pressed to mine.  
  
I curl my fingers around the back of his neck and pull him down, forcing our lips together almost violently.  
  
Gods, I'll never get enough of this.  
  
Kaiba's hands massage my lower back in slow, sensuous circles while my own arms wind tightly around his neck, attempting to press his face closer against mine. He slowly drags his tongue from my mouth across the edge of my jaw until he reaches my neck, leaving a wet saliva trail as evidence of his path.  
  
I shiver as a sudden cold breeze from an open window clashes pleasurably with the smoldering atmosphere that's been created, successfully heightening and intensifying my senses even more then they already have been.  
  
I tilt my head back as he sucks his way down my neck, most likely leaving those small, red circles as souvenirs. Or territorial marks, knowing Kaiba.  
  
Looks like I'm gonna have to find some of those old turtlenecks of mine...  
  
Kaiba's lips are now burning against my collarbone, licking the bony expanse of flesh with his tongue before making his way downward. Every flick of his tongue feels like a newly igniting flame against my sensitized skin.  
  
Just when I thought it impossible to get any more aroused, Kaiba begins to grind our hips together. Starting at a slow, leisurely pace, we are soon crushing our bodies together wildly, primitively, our self-control crumbling by the second. Our mouths once again seek each other out, and I'm swept up in a sloppy kiss.  
  
I moan. Feels... so... incredible. Can't... stop...  
  
When Kaiba's fingers start toying blindly with the zipper on my jeans, something in my mind snaps and brings me back to my senses.  
  
School bathroom.  
  
Other people. Walk in.  
  
Teachers. Principle. Deeeeep shit.  
  
Suspended.  
  
We have to stop. NOW.  
  
I pull away wrap my hands around Kaiba's wrists and drag them away from the 'danger zone', my cock already screaming at me for denying it that blissful touch.  
  
Hmph. And chicks always say that we think with our dicks rather than our brains. You don't know how much fucking restraint it took for me to do just what I did.  
  
I'm sorry, Kaiba. I really am.  
  
I lean against the sink and firmly grasp onto its polished, porcelain sides to prevent me from reaching out for him, which would thus disintegrate my willpower for good.  
  
"What? What's wrong?" He breathes out against my cheek.  
  
"What's wrong?" I echo softly, suddenly irritated that he would ask such an obvious question. "Oh, nothing really... EXCEPT THAT WE'RE STILL IN THE GODDAMNED SCHOOL!" I say in a harsh whisper as my eyes fly to the door, paranoid that someone will barge in at any moment. "You know how much shit we'd be in if someone caught us?" Not only that, but I was only seconds away from creaming my pants. I'm NOT going back to class with a fucking stain... again.  
  
"I've locked the door, remember?" Kaiba starts, calm as usual. "We've already got the library down, and now the school. I say that a church should be next on our list."  
  
My jaw drops and my eyes widen at least a billion times their normal size. He gives me that feral grin of his.  
  
He can't be serious.  
  
Who would've thought that Kaiba would be so... so... brazen... once you got to know him? He's a completely different person from the icy guise he displays daily.  
  
"You're out of your fucking mind. You're insane. I really wonder about you sometimes, Kaiba." I say, shaking my head in disbelief.  
  
He laughs and leans down to plant a quick kiss on my lips. Before he can get away, I grab hold of the back of his neck and keep him in place. A quick nibble to my bottom lip and his phantom mouth disappears momentarily, only to make itself known again on my neck. He turns and starts suckling on the spot just below my ear that he knows will make me squirm.  
  
As was to be expected, I am wriggling in his arms, my eye twitching helplessly.  
  
Oh yeah. It also makes my eye twitch. Luckily Kaiba can't see or he'd make fun of that, too.  
  
Mmm. Nice.  
  
I feel his breath dance across my ear. "You know, he likes you."  
  
"Wha? Who?"  
  
What is he talking about? And what is he doing, thinking about some other guy at a time like this? Way to kill the moment, Kaiba. I should sign him up for "Proper Dating Etiquette" classes or something. Actually, no, I take that back. First he should take "How To Act Like A Normal Human Being Around Other People So You Don't Look Like An Emotionless Asshole And So People Actually Would Not Be Afraid Of Approaching You For Fear of Getting Their Heart Ripped Out" classes. Probably wouldn't help, though. Sadly, I regret to say that this is a hopeless case.  
  
He starts nipping at my neck again. "Yuugi."  
  
It's just a tad bit hard to concentrate when you have a Kaiba latched onto your neck, so I must focus extra hard to string coherent thoughts together.  
  
"Yeah. like him to. My best friend." Ok, the grammar wasn't the best and Sensei would throw a fit if he heard me speak like that. But considering my current situation, I'd say I did a pretty decent job.  
  
He stops what he's doing, and brings his head up to look me in the eyes. "That's not what I meant."  
  
Huh?  
  
I raise my eyebrows skeptically. "You mean... You mean like a... crush?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
I start laughing. And I keep laughing.  
  
I laugh until tears start sprouting from the corners of my eyes. Then I laugh some more.  
  
I have never heard anything more ridiculous. Seriously. Where the hell did he get that idea?  
  
I catch Kaiba frowning and glaring at me as if he were about to wring my neck, which I take as my cue to stop (partly in fear for my life).  
  
The last few fugitive chuckles slip out before I start to speak again. "Sorry. What gave you the idea that Yuugi likes me like that?" It suddenly feels like I'm back in Jr. High, caught in between some weird he-said, she- said, schoolgirl love triangle.  
  
He shrugs as he steps away from me to lean against a sink, arms crossing at his chest. "You just know these things," He begins his explanation, "especially when they concern a certain hot piece of ass that you have complete and total claim on." He eyes me to see my reaction. "I never was one to share." A look of mock sadness passes across his face. "Takase- sensei from 1st grade always reprimanded me for that. I think that is the only skill in my entire schooling history that I haven't mastered and obtained a perfect score on." He adds, almost wistfully.  
  
I roll my eyes but grin as I try to picture a little 6-year-old mini-Kaiba. He was probably already hacking away and creating programs on his precious computer at that time, wow-ing and intimidating everyone with his amazing brainpower. I bet he also brainwashed his classmates into helping him run some kind of illegal homework trafficking dealie which earned him great power and status in the elementary school hierarchy. No, no. Wait. I bet he RAN the school, I bet all the teachers were at his command, that they were his servants that he had complete control--  
  
"Jou?"  
  
My head snaps up and I let the last of my errant thoughts sizzle off, concentrating on the matter at hand.  
  
I mull over what Kaiba has just said about Yuugi. Now, I never had doubts about Yuugi's sexual orientation. I mean, the boy is just too sweet and girly to be straight. Everyone sees that. But... the idea of him actually having a crush on me seems totally absurd and ludicrous.  
  
Nevertheless, my mind starts to unconsciously question if that really is so ridiculous. I try to recall some of Yuugi's actions around me: The delicate touches to my shoulder or back, all of which were lingering and just a little bit too long to be considering purely friendly. The constant blushes and nervous laughing produced by my presence. The secret winks Anzu gave Yuugi after he asked me to the movies, when she thought I wasn't looking.  
  
But no, no... That's just... Yuugi being Yuugi. He does that to everyone. He's sweet like that to everyone, not just me. I tell Kaiba this.  
  
He raises his eyebrows skeptically.  
  
"I would have noticed," I add persistently, not knowing what else to say to convince him.  
  
"There are lots of things you don't notice, Jou. No offense, but you're a complete idiot when it comes to these situations," He says, before adding cockily, "as you are with most other things."  
  
I should have seen that one coming.  
  
My eyes narrow as I send Kaiba an intense glare. "Asshole." I slump against the sink and pout defensively.  
  
Of course, Kaiba chuckles.  
  
Sometimes I can't help but think that Kaiba keeps me around only because I provide some sort of odd amusement for him. The kind of amusement a small child would have in plucking the wings off of a butterfly or sizzling an ant with a magnifying glass.  
  
Hmm, maybe that wasn't the best comparison, but it works... Sort of.  
  
Kaiba brings a hand up to ruffle my hair playfully and teases with mock sympathy, "Aw, did I hurt the poor little puppy's feelings?"  
  
I slap his hand away and roughly push him aside, heading towards the door. I'm not in the mood for these games right now. "Quit screwing around," I snap, irritated and angry.  
  
I start down the hallway and hear Kaiba's shoes click against the floor in a non-rhythmical pattern, trying to keep up with my fast, aggravated steps.  
  
"Jou," Kaiba says gently, grabbing my wrist and whirling me around.  
  
"What?" I bite out, looking up at him.  
  
He smiles softly and brushes my bangs back with his free hand.  
  
Damn him. I already can feel my anger melting into a sweet, warm, gooey puddle of nothingness.  
  
I think I flush slightly at the loving look Kaiba is giving me. He looks so caring that it's heart-warming. I lean forward, seeking his embrace.  
  
This trance doesn't last long, however. I feel something being pushed against my chest and my hands scrabble by reflex to catch it before it falls to the ground.  
  
I find myself, dumbstruck, looking at the large manila folder in my arms.  
  
I turn around and see that Kaiba is already halfway down the hall. "Bring that to the Administrator's Office, will you?" He asks. "I told the teacher I'd do it, that's how I got out of class. But how would it look if you returned before me, when you left a good 2 minutes after? Everyone would be suspicious."  
  
Oddly enough, I have a strange urge to whip the damned folder at him. That urge quickly passes when I reason that it wouldn't be smart. All the papers would get scrambled, teachers would come out of their classrooms to see what all the ruckus is, etc., etc.  
  
I settle for a heated "Fuck you."  
  
Kaiba chuckles. "Maybe later," He says with a wink as he rounds the corner.  
  
I'm left there, standing in the middle of the hallway. I glare daggers at the innocent manila folder, decided to pin the blame on it temporarily.  
  
If I get my hands on Kaiba...  
  
Let's just say that it won't be pretty.  
  
Cursing Kaiba, the beige folder, the teacher, and generally the whole world, I turn on my heel to head towards the office, vowing to get my revenge. One way or another.  
  
*****  
  
"Son, come here."  
  
I freeze in the doorway. Damn. I was hoping my dad wouldn't hear me come in. What the hell does he want anyway? I didn't do anything.  
  
Cautiously I proceed to the kitchen, where all the noise is emanating from. Peering into the doorway, I see that my dad has his poker buddies over.  
  
Six fat, middle-aged men are crowded around the small kitchen table. Most of them wear tight-fitting oil-stained t-shirts, barely covering their beer bellies. They each have a cigarette dangling from their mouth and past their stubbly double chins, their balding heads covered in chunks of greasy, matted hair. Each are almost exact copies of my father.  
  
These are the men that end up working minimum wage jobs frying burgers for the rest of their insignificant lives. These are the men who beat their wives and children out of boredom. These are the men who care about nothing and no one but themselves, and who wouldn't give a damn if the entire world was to be obliterated as long as they have their Heineken. These men are the scum of the earth.  
  
My father scoots over, the legs of his chair scraping loudly against the linoleum floor, and pulls out a stool for me. "Play a couple games with us, son."  
  
Son.  
  
I'm only 'son' when he's showing me off to his friends.  
  
"I tell you, Jou here is one of the best goddamn poker players out there. Taught him myself. He'll give you all a run for your money." He claps me on the back a few times as I sink down into the stool.  
  
Bastard.  
  
One of the men opposite me speaks. "Come on, you're torturing the poor guy! He's a man, for God's sakes! You're keeping him away from his girl. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do..."  
  
A sudden uproar of gruff laughter assaults the air.  
  
Oh, and by that he means I should be fucking every single girl I ever come in contact with, that I should find some disgusting prostitute-whore and fuck her brains out in the back of a car or in some cheap motel. 10, 20, 30 girls, the more, the better. You stop counting after the first few fucks. Just don't get them pregnant, and make sure they're clean. Have your fun, and don't bother getting your emotions involved in something as meaningless and petty as a "relationship".  
  
'Cuz that's what makes a man. Right, dad?  
  
I feel sick to my stomach, but force myself to curve my lips into an empty smile in response to the leers I'm getting from the faces around me.  
  
Oh, if they only knew.  
  
The cards are dealt. I rest two fingers on the first card that's in front of me, moving it in circles over the polished table. Soon I feel a second card tap against my fingertips, then a third, a fourth, and a fifth.  
  
Everything about this feels surreal, like I'm living in a second-rate, grainy copy of realism. I'm not in my own body. I'm detached, inspecting everything through some unknown person's out-of-focus vision. My spirit is off in a far away, exotic, undiscovered tribal island, trapped with people who are the "same" as me in the politically correct sense of the word... Yet are so incredibly opposite that we might as well belong to a different genus, a different species, a different humanity.  
  
I'm not 'Jou' anymore, I'm someone-no, someTHING else.  
  
I lift the first card up gingerly and examine it. There's no need to hurry.  
  
The two of diamonds. I barely stop the bitter laugh caught in my trachea from escaping past the barriers of my lips. This card represents a love affair that others disapprove of, and will go to extreme measures to prevent.  
  
So true, so true. I wonder what my father would say if I told him that I was sleeping with another guy.  
  
I gently place my fingers on the second card and idly toy with it before picking it up as well.  
  
Three of spades. Lies, betrayal, secrets being revealed, etc, etc.  
  
Damn, no 'happy' cards yet. Come on, I want some forged hope. Give me something nice, tell me that all my dreams will come true... Tell me, that my wishes will be fulfilled...  
  
Third card. Four of spades. Illness, physical and emotional damage, wounds that cannot heal.  
  
Lovely. Maybe I should just kill myself now, spare myself the pain.  
  
Fourth card. Six of spades. The neutral card. The safe card. Signifies things staying the same. No changes.  
  
Ok, that's not too bad.  
  
And the last card. Four of clubs. The worst card in the deck. Symbolizes major emotional conflict, destruction, and death.  
  
How depressing. I sigh inwardly.  
  
Cest la vie, I suppose. Not that I believe in this fortune-telling shit anyways. I picked it up from my mom when she was still living with us. She was one of those spiritual, psychic people who felt more comfortable placing the outcome of her life in the hands of the cards than in her own hands. She told fortunes with regular deck cards, tarot cards, tealeaves, palm readings... the whole nine yards.  
  
It's all a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. As much as I love my mom, I don't know how anyone can actually believe that a piece of cardboard or plastic can tell you whether your existence will be meaningful or not. I like to think that it's up to you, and only you.  
  
My eyes roll over my hand again. Well, I could give back the four of clubs and the two of diamonds in hope of getting either a five of spades and a seven of spades, or a two of spades and a five of spades... But what are the chances of actually getting a straight flush?  
  
Slim. Very slim. But what the hell, I'm feeling bold today.  
  
I set down the two unwanted cards and stare at the ones I received in exchange. Ironically it's a five of spades and a seven spades. A straight flush. This must be my lucky day. I smile bitterly.  
  
My mind registers a thin paper cylinder being pressed into my palm, and two fingers clasp around the intruding item out of habit. I bring the cigarette to my lips and inhale a lungful of the toxic gas.  
  
My father made me smoke my first cigarette when I was in fifth grade. He was trying to make a man out of an 11-year-old boy. Said I would thank him some day.  
  
It's been six years, and for some reason I still don't feel very grateful.  
  
Again, the sense of disconnection from my own body is nearly nauseating. It's like Time has been caught in an eternal cycle of slow motion, caught in the murky eye of the tornado. I can't even translate the sounds produced by the men into understandable language. The sound waves seem to spill together, thick and heavy, like trekking through a muddy swamp.  
  
With trembling hands I insert the cigarette into my mouth and stretch the short sleeve of by shirt to wipe the beads of perspiration on my forehead. I close my eyes and try to take a few deep breaths in order to calm down.  
  
The assault on my senses feels overwhelming. The brusque laughter. The smoke permeating lazily through the air, filling our airways and slowly killing us like an undetected virus. The men's faces, twisted in temporary hedonistic expressions. And most of all, my sudden realization of how much I loathe and despise the man who is my father.  
  
The sounds, faces, and emotions all blur together in my vision to form one big, chaotic chasm.  
  
It becomes unbearable.  
  
I have to get out.  
  
I place my shaking palms on the table and push myself violently out of the stool, hearing it clatter distantly against the linoleum floor. I stand there, taking panicked, gulping breaths.  
  
Every pair of eyes is on me now, watching in silent curiosity.  
  
I stumble backwards until I'm pressed against the doorframe.  
  
A choked apology passes my lips as I turn and stagger out of the house, down the porch steps.  
  
Now that I'm out of that room, the invisible hand constricting my airways has vanished and I am free to breathe again.  
  
I force my legs into motion.  
  
Gods, how I fucking hate him. Automatically, I grind my teeth together and clench my fists. I want to kill him, kill him with all the rage that has built up inside of me over the last 17 years.  
  
I try for a moment to reign in my anger before realizing I'd have about as much success in doing that as I would in taking a rabid Labrador for a walk with a paper leash.  
  
The fury coursing through my veins finally dissolves as I remember that I should expect a beating when I get home for that little stunt I pulled in front of his friends. My once tense shoulders slump in silent surrender. I am powerless against this man, really. What can I do? Move out? And go where?  
  
To Kaiba?  
  
I snort out-loud at the thought. If I showed up at Kaiba's doorstep saying that I was going to move in with him, he would surely laugh in my face before kicking my ass out on the curb.  
  
And I can't just drop out of school and get a job. How much would my life suck if I just had a three-year high school education? I'd be stuck at a dead-end, minimum-wage job until I die.  
  
So thus, I must endure this hell for another year.  
  
The park is finally in my view. I was supposed to meet Kaiba there over half an hour ago and I doubt he's still waiting. Probably left after five minutes.  
  
Nevertheless, I feel compelled to check. Just in case. It's not like I really need to see him or anything, because I don't.  
  
...  
  
Okay, okay... So I'll admit some company would be better than being by myself... even though Kaiba really isn't the best person to be seeking comfort in...  
  
A gust of cold, fierce wind blows against me and I am pulled to the side, deciding it was not worth the energy to try and keep my balance.  
  
Though thinking about Kaiba usually does help me forget about everything going on around me, I am unable to ignore my incessantly trembling body.  
  
It probably wasn't very smart to leave the house without a coat in the middle of November.  
  
I hug my arms in a fruitless effort to keep warm and make my way down the dimly lighted path.  
  
Goddammit. It's so fucking cold.  
  
I let out a long, shuddering breath and watch with a mesmerizing fascination as steam floats out of my mouth in a puff of white and quickly disappear into the darkness of the night. A sure sign that winter is quickly approaching with no hope for warmer days.  
  
My legs make a sharp left turn and I'm under a canopy of long, tunneling pines that incline towards me forebodingly, as if warning me to stay away.  
  
It's all in your head, Jou.  
  
I pick up the pace before my mind has the chance to frighten me even more than it already has.  
  
I few more quick steps and I look up, knowing that the benches would be in my view.  
  
Immediately I stop, arms dropping at my sides, as I absorb the sight before me in a child-like awe.  
  
Kaiba is sitting on the bench hunched over, elbows propped up on his knees and chin resting neatly atop his gloved fist, deep in thought. One end of the dark scarf he has on wormed free of its confines inside the coat and is being blown about wildly, trying to get away from the neck it was supposed to be protecting. Kaiba's normally tidy hair was messy, tousled by the wind, and hiding his eyes from view. The pale light from a streetlamp behind him diffused around his body, encompassing his form in a thin film of yellow light.  
  
All in all, it was a breathtaking sight. Kaiba for the first time looks vulnerable and peaceful, not at all like the immortal, untouchable being he favors to present himself as.  
  
After a moment of standing in stunned immobility, a wave of pure joy washes over me.  
  
He waited! He actually waited!  
  
I felt the familiar needle-like sting at the back of my eyeballs and notice that my eye-sockets are considerably more damp than they had been just a few seconds ago. I have never been so happy to see anyone in my entire life.  
  
At once, a goofy grin spreads across my face and I want nothing than to run and throw myself at him, squeezing him and never letting go. Like the big, fluffy teddy bear that he isn't.  
  
I almost did, too. Until the harsh reality of my complete idiocy reeled me back, causing me to stumble, as I was in mid-run.  
  
What the hell was I doing?!  
  
This is Kaiba we're talking about. It's ONLY Kaiba. Nothing to get excited about. And CERTAINLY nothing to cry over.  
  
I turned my back to him violently, thoroughly disgusted with myself.  
  
What the fuck was I thinking?  
  
We're only fuck buddies after all, right? Right.  
  
This isn't even a real relationship, right? Right.  
  
He doesn't even care, right? Right.  
  
~Or does he?~  
  
Now where the HELL did that come from?!  
  
I shove that thought as far from my mind as was possible.  
  
I run my fingers through my hair in panic, cold sweat breaking out across my body.  
  
Calm down, Jou. It's okay. He hasn't seen you yet, just WALK AWAY. Walk away and don't look back. Break off whatever arrangements you had with him, and go on with your life. Forget about him.  
  
Yep. Sounds like a good plan to me.  
  
I take a couple of slow steps in the opposite direction. If I'd gone any faster surely my legs would have given out.  
  
That's it, Jou. Just a few more steps and-  
  
"Jou?"  
  
*****  
  
A.N.: Ok, that was a TERRIBLE place to stop. .. Eh, oh well. BTW, I ABHOR this chapter. On a level of personal satisfaction, I give it ½ stars out of 5. Yuck. I have another AU Yu-gi-oh fanfic in the works, one that takes place in Ancient Rome. (Don't ask). Anyway, it's a Seto/Jou master/slave type of thingie. Not sure what will come of it, though. Anyways, please review! ^_^ I live off of reviews! ^^ 


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